Suicide Is Painless

An Anonymous Blog About Suicide

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If I Told You, I Wouldn't Be Anonymous, Now Would I?

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Sleeping Pills

I don't know who's heard about antidepressants inducing suicide before, but I've known about it for a long time. It's amazing that it's just making the news (Linked in the title).

Apparently, Paxil is now inducing suicide. Oh, but I adored that little bouncing blob ingoring the butterfly. Or was that Zoloft? Who cares? Not much a point to this part of the post except a hypothetical question:

Would you rather get depressed and kill yourself or get depressed, get hospitalized for two weeks or more, get put on antidepressants, think you're feeling a little better, then get depressed and kill yourself?

I think most people would prefer the former as it's less trouble and doesn't waste time and energy.

The other thing in the article was a little window on diagonosing depression. I'm going to attempt to address every one of the symptoms.

"Depression is a serious medical illness that comes in many forms with a variety of symptoms. If you have any of the following symptoms for a prolonged period, it may be time to seek help." This is the heading on the window. Let me restate this in a reasonable manner:

Depression is a major part of most of our lives. If you don't have any of these symptoms for longer than a few hours at a time in your life, then you're crazy and naïve and need to be put to sleep. Knowing this, if you still would like to seek help, go right ahead, but it might be easier (not to mention cheaper) to self-medicate or self-terminate.

"Persistant sad or anxious mood
Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism" I'm going to address both of these at the same time. These are completely normal feelings, especially if you know what's going on in life.

"Feelings of guilt or worthlessness" I don't know. Maybe you did something wrong. That's normally why we feel guilt. We don't really need a reason to feel worthless. Just look at your life and then ask yourself, "In a hundred years, who's gonna care?" That will make the majority of us feel worthless.

"Loss of interest in hobbies or activities" Maybe you're changing. Maybe you like different hobbies and activities. If not, maybe you're just tired today, which brings me to:

"Fatigue or decreased energy" Maybe you're tired. Maybe you haven't had enough sleep or maybe you've worked too hard. Here's a thought: Maybe you're sick.

"Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
Insomnia or oversleeping
Restlessness or irritability" Too much caffeine or not enough sleep. Just jumping around the list to save time.

"Changes in appetite or weight" Did you start or quit smoking or some other drug recently? Even if the answer's no, this kind of thing happens. It's not unusual for someone's appetite or weight to change. Plus, maybe you have something on your mind.

"Headaches or chronic pain" Migraines? I get migraines. I really don't see how headaches and chronic pain are related to depression unless you're depressed because you're in pain.

"Thoughts of death or suicide" Of course they have to throw this one in there. Yes, thoughts of suicide are usually related to depression. Death, not so much. Still, if you tell someone that you're thinking about suicide, you won't get happier. You'll get more depressed and you might end up on Paxil and then kill yourself anyway. So, why don't you just take out the middleman and off yourself.


Thanks to Suede for today's post title.


Blogger Chana said...

Hi. Just came upon your blog and i'm glad that it's out there. I think it's something that isn't talked about out of shame and ignorance.

I'll tell you how not to try to commit suicide. When i was just shy of 15 years old, i had another hugely horribly event in my life. The sorrow of mind was inmense and the physical sufferrings were unberable. After, another time i had 'wronged' and got the deserving beating for it in a public park. When i got home, between getting ready for a spanish girl's sweet 15 pictures with a photographer, i went into the bathroom and swallow a huge mouthful of pills. Silly me, thank God, i had taken fibre pills. Obviously i didn't die but i didn't get off free. I paid dearly physically for taking those pills. The cramps and pains and vomitting etc...and of course it was all on my own. I couldn't say a word to no one....I never look at fibre medicine without a chuckle...It's funny now...but it's sad that sometimes our lives are so full of pain and we feel their is no way out that we do the craziest things to stop the torture...

10:25 PM  
Blogger Chana said...

I would like to just make another comment.
Your blog doesn't accept anonymous comments yet you understand first hand how come it's so necessary sometimes (unfortunately) to stay anonymous ...

10:34 PM  
Blogger Anonymous said...

Chana, first I'd like to say that I'm glad you found and enjoy my blog. I'm also glad that you wanted to live again after failing at suicide. I believe suide is a personal choice and if you want it, no one should try to stop you. However, if you don't really want it, perhaps you haven't thought enough about it before you tried it. There's a good site linked in the title of my April 1 post, Breaking The Habit, that will help you decide whether suicide is right for you, and then help you with every step along the way.


P.S. The reason that I don't allow anonymous posts is that I'm Anonymous here (as that is my display name) and I can't have my site cluttered up with anonymouses with no way of knowing if they're me or an anonymous comment poster. If you want to post an anonymous comment, perhaps you can create a blogger account with a name that no one knows (anonymous2?) and use it to post. If that's too much trouble, I guess I could figure something else out.

8:38 AM  
Blogger Chana said...

Well thank you for your responce. I am extremely glad myself that all i took was fibre pills. I wanted to escape the pain not die...I didn't realize that their were other choices. I'm saden that their is anyone who might not realize the same and follow through.

My point of the anonymous was not for myself as i proved by leaving a comment to begin with. It was more for another who might want to participate in your blog and might not feel they could for worry that they be found out.

I truly hope in the end, that your blog is NOT an aid in how to commit suicide but no voice the anguish and sorrow that sometimes people feel. A way to see that there are other options. Forgive me for i realize that goes against what you believe. I understand that we all have choices over our lives but i am a walking example that pain fogs our judgement sometimes and that with time and healing we are plenty glad we are still around.

1:18 PM  
Blogger Anonymous said...

Chana, tell this person to create an account that no one knows about and leave a comment. By all means, tell your friends about this blog. I'm not here to condemn suicide, but I'm not here to tell people to do it either. It's a personal decision, and one that I can't make for anyone other than myself. However, I can try to help your friend decide whether he/she really wants to commit suicide. Let your friend leave a comment with an anonymous username. Anonymous Too might be a good one.


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3:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous 235 said...

i was wondering if you could suggest some effective ways of ending my life, 100 pc effective ways. i bought sleeping pills today, 40 of them (20 of 10 mg and 20 of 5 mg). would they be of any help? if not, can you suggest some easy n effective method?

9:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I accept your theme/approach. I'm 56 yr old and have done more in my life than most twice my age. Not bragging, just want to make it clear my suicidal thought dont stem from an ineffectual/boring life.

I've been diagnosed with bowel cancer and once you cut through the bullshit, I've got a 50/50 chance of avoiding a secondary cancer. For reasons I cannot explain, I'm not really worried about re-contracting cancer. I'm just tired of it all.

As an atheist I expect my body to return to the cosmos as it decays. The peace and serenity seem so attractive. My introduction to the helplessness that goes with poor health terrifies me. While I still have the means, I want to act. I want to cease my wonderful life while I can do so with some dignity.

The absence of like minded medicos had brought me to consider sedative/sleeping tablets used in conjunction with vehicle exhaust fumes. My body doesn't get too messy, I can listen to my favourite music and slip quietly away. OK, my petroleum footprint is a bummer, but still less than driving to medico after medico.

If ther is an afterlife, and it has any sense of sanity, my actions will not be condemned

Just a few admin details to tidy up and then it's off to sweet serenity.

If you must do it, do it for the right reasons and consider everything ... who is going to find you, your final words to your friends (individual letters - they deserve it).

Wish me luck.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's about time you just killed yourself then? Why make other people suffer through your messed up head? You don't offer support for those that are genuine, just those that are into your sick games. I hope you get what you deserve.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

i am suffering from depressing, i am finding ways of painless way of ending my self. i have nothing to live for my parents are ot supportive. i am a muslim i listen to my parents did arrange marriage i am getting the divorce sorted as much as i had respect for him it didnt work out. now my parents think all sorts its my fault it didnt work out i am a selfish person wo only cares about her self tha.ts what they say. i just want to be happy is that too much to ask. now they thinking i HAVE A BOYFRIEND thats whyi left him to marry him. i am not that sor of girl. i never had boyfrient before marraige now i regret i should'v its like a sin you get the title whore and slag. my parents dont even know who i am. i told my husband i am happy when he's happy i will never marry again i will die alone if i have to. my parents are keeping me in the house becasuse they care about the society what they and gossip. if i leave they and the society will say i ran off with a guy, when i want to stand up in my two feet make a living. i see no life without him. i am restricted from going out. how do you all feel about that. i 've attempted over dose slasing wrist am still alive i just want to do it properly i have nothing to live for i am done pleasing people. i will try sleeping kills method

8:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

how about taking suboxone and drinking alot of alcohol , I can't stop using and am so tired of trying

6:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes,I'm 15 years old and I've been depressed since I was 13 years old. I tell my mom I really need help, but she never gets it for me. She usually see's my scares and just tells me to stop. I started taking pain relievers last month because I didn't know what else to do. I got so much stress with school, family, friends, and my boyfriend and I just want to give up. What do you think I can do?

9:02 AM  
Blogger BN said...

I am 26 I have been depressed since i was 24, I have tell all my friends and still skeep thinking about to killing my self. i leave alone, away from my perants since i was 20 year old

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am 22 and i have stage.four ovarian cancer. I dont have any support and i.want to end it they only gave me six months to a year to live so y dont i make it easy on myself and do it now bc i am so sick of bullshit and pain and drs i cant take anymore but not really sure on wat to take

1:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought this would tell me what pils to take

10:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We are all here with a mission and purpose, although it might not feel this way. yet there are situations where life is simply impossible. For instance when you are in constant pain, and/or suffering of an incurable illness. We put our pets asleep for this reason, out of compassion, who would like to see other people and or animals suffer?

3:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Someone wrote "As an atheist I expect my body to return to the cosmos as it decays.If there is an afterlife, and it has any sense of sanity, my actions will not be condemned" lol.

yea..I can relate to that. My situation: I am dealing with a very painful disease. Ever since I got hit with this my life enjoyment went from 95 % to 5%. Overdosing on morphine. And friends want to keep me alive. I think that's the ultimate act of selfishness. (although I understand they love me) But please people let me go..I love to live but not in a veggie state..My life wasn't bad either, I found real love (although it didn't last long) how many people can say that?

3:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My main question is? how do you commit suicide without leaving a mess, in a peaceful and painless way? People mentioned sleeping pills. Any idea what brand and where to get them??

3:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I still want to kill myself.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I need a safe way of killing my self was thinking sleeping pills?

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

When I was in grade 9 I took 48pain killers!! I was so ready to die! I hide all evident before I took a nap on my bed at home after a huge arguement with my parents. Instead of dying I woke up few hours later feeling so drained !! Moving wasn't even an option!!I vomitted n silly me drank water to get rid of the taste...well now I know it was fibre pills n fibre pills don't kill!!..I'm still out here at the age of 19yrs old! I'm an architectural student. I have a lot of friends, everyone loves me, boys are inlove with me. My only problem is my family!!
Today I ordered sleeping pills and I pray that I sleep n never wake up!!death is my only wish!! Heaven or hell I still want to die

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No it won't, I took 60 sleeping pills and the only thing it did was make me vomit and barely able to walk. The next day still couldn't move around much,today still have the bitter taste. I thought they would let me sleep and go peacefully.

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Hey, people...don't entertain these thoughts. We've all had moments when we felt like giving up, but we ultimately can control what we choose to focus on. Shoo those bad thoughts away and focus on something else.

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