Goodbye Cruel World

All right. I haven't posted in months, and to be honest, I haven't had much more to say. I have a new job now that I'm, at best, not unhappy with, I'm in a great position with my friends and family. I have no place writing from the position of the suicidal anymore and I've said more or less all there is to say about the rights of the suicidal. Let's face it, this blog is staring down the barrel of a .45. This blog is six feet from the edge and it's thinking, "maybe six feet ain't so far down." This blog is layin' in an overflowing bathtub of red water. This blog is waiting, waiting to die. So, it's time to commit bloggicide. I'm not going to delete the blog. I leave it here in case I ever decide I have something more to say about suicide, but it's not like I ever had any readers, so who's going to be disappointed? I'd like to give thanks to the following bands for the body of this post:

Shinedown, Creed, Rehab, and (Hed) P.E.

Thanks to Pink Floyd for today's and the final post title.

Deep

I've addressed several arguments against suicide in this blog including,

"Suicide is selfish,"
"Suicide is cowardly,"
"Suicide is illegal," and
"People who attempt suicide are mentally disabled."

But today, I'm going to address a new one:

"Suicide is wrong."

Whether this statement is true really depends on a few things.

First, the definition of suicide. Is suicide any time you willingly terminate your life? Is martyrdom suicide? Dying for your beliefs, a cause, or to help someone else? Some people say Jesus committed suicide because he had the power to stay alive and chose to die anyway. Surely Jesus didn't do something wrong.

The definition of wrong. Contrary to what you want to believe, right and wrong are not black and white. Right and wrong includes the entire spectrum of grays. "Stealing is wrong." Okay. Is it then wrong for a hungry man to steal a loaf of bread from a very successful chain of grocery stores to feed his family? Maybe I say it's wrong of the grocery store to let the man and his family die of hunger while they're making all this money. Is it wrong to kill yourself when you have a family to support? I'm not going to answer that. That's up to the person whose family will be left behind to decide.

Keep in mind what's right is not necessarily right and what's wrong is not necessarily wrong.
Even in suicide.

Anon

Thanks to Pearl Jam for todays post title.

No Hero

Just a note. Anonymous comments are now allowed. I've decided that it's much easier to tell the difference between posts by me and anonymous posts that I originally thought. I also all to painfully realize how necessary it is to be anonymous about this issue. Let's get into tonight's issue:

Remember Dr. Kevorkian? Let's call him Jackie today.

I used to respect Jackie. (You can probably tell by the gay name that I no longer do.) I was reading an article (Linked in the title) about him this evening. I'd like to quote part of it.

Jack Kevorkian, whose failing health may deny him a chance to be paroled, said he still believes in assisted suicide but would not choose it for himself.

"Remember that I did not advocate assisted suicide," Kevorkian, 78, said in a written response to questions from The Detroit News published Thursday. "I only advocated that a person should have the right to have the option if he or she, in sound mind, needed and desired it while in irremedial pain and suffering and terminal."

Hmmm.... Jackie's kind of flip-flopping here, isn't he? Back in the 1990's, he advocated doctor-assisted suicide, then when he wanted to be paroled, he changed his mind and said he was wrong for what he did, and now he's trying to have a little of both. I'm sorry, Jackie, you lost me at, "not performing it because it still was against the law." (See my May 27th post, You Know You're Right for that quote.) I really liked you so much more when I thought you were an advocate of personal choice. When I thought you were doing what you were doing because you'd appreciate it if someone did it for you. When I was too naïve to realize that the whole time, this has been an issue of politics and not personal choice. You know what, Jackie? Next time I think how great it would be for you to assist me in suicide, I'll realize to myself that a razor is cheaper and isn't doing its job for political reasons. Suicide is, and should always be, about personal choice, not about politics, money, or fame. Remember before you vote against suicide as choice ammendments in the elections.

Anon

Thanks to The Offspring for today's post title.

4 Walls

It'll be a month tomorrow since my last post. Where have I been? Well, I haven't been as preoccupied with suicide this last month as I have been in the past. That, and there haven't really been any articles about suicide on the news sources I read regularly that sparked an interest. I did come across an interesting blog entry about suicide (Linked in the title), but I don't really have much to say about it. Just an answer to the following quote:

I have no means to kill myself easily, but even if I did, I wouldn't. I'm too much of a coward. Put a loaded gun in my hand, and perhaps I'll hold it to my head for two seconds, but I'll set it back on the table and walk away. I just can never find the strength to pull the damn trigger.

Some would say that to kill oneself makes one a coward. Those people have never tried it. I'd go as far to say that those people have never thought about it. This Pyrofalkon seems to have been there and at least has a realistic opinion on suicide. Maybe he would never do it, but at least he knows how difficult the act can be. At least he knows you need courage and strength. I think I'll give this person a link here.

Why am I posting tonight, then? I was thinking about the suicide prevention they have for death row inmates. Why is this necessary? It costs Americans lots of money to put a criminal to death. Yet we still give them a 24-hour suicide watch. Here's what I say. I say we give these people every chance in the world to off themselves and save the taxpayers a lot of money. We put them in a cell with pre-knotted sheets. We put a shakey footstool underneath a solid pipe. We give that cell and open window and put it on the 23rd floor of the prison and paint a bull's eye on the sidewalk below. I mean, come on. They're on death row. They're going to die anyway.

Anon

Thanks to Staind for today's post title.

Bother

Remember Blogget Jones and her selfish view on suicide? I did add some more to the end of May 26th's post, Blasphemous Rumors after she came here if you want to read that. Anyway, she has a rebuttal, albiet one without much thought in it, linked in the title. I'd like to actually put some thought into my response to that:

The person sending the comment was disagreeing with something I said. That's fine. I don't mind that. However, on going to that person's blog, I found something I thought to be harmful to anyone going there. To me, it was profane in its cavalier attitude towards life and the astounding selfishness of the posts. To me, it was dangerous to anyone teetering on the edge of taking their own life. In good conscience, I cannot provide a link to that from my own blog.

Huh? Harmful? I don't tell people to kill themselves. I just tell them the truth. I tell people that it's their own business and the people like Blogget who want them to live are selfish. Profane? Cavalier attitute towards life? You'll have to explain this one to me, Blogget. Maybe you're reading it the wrong way because of your closed-minded suicide-is-selfish-crazy-and-evil attitiute of yours. Dangerous to anyone teetering on the edge of taking their own life? Maybe, but if someone is going to kill themselves after reading this blog, they were going to do it anyway. And besides, I don't tell people to do anything. Suicide isn't for everyone. That's a decision people have to make on their own. For me to tell somone to commit suicide would be just as presumptuous as it is for you to tell them not to. Let's move on.

The irony was that this person said, in their blog, that *I* was the selfish one. In fact, they said I ranked just above someone who steals from a charity. (how's that for a crapload of judgementality?) And why? Because I think it's wrong to take your own life.

Yes, you are the selfish one. I did say that. But you don't understand my reference because you don't know the person I know who stole from charity. I said you were one step above him in selfishness, not one step above people who steal from charity in general. And it's not because you think it's wrong to take your own life. It's because of all the selfish things you said in your December blog entry about suicide. Go back and read your blog if you forgot what you said.

Kep in mind that I'm not talking about "Right to Die" issues, with terminal illness and such. I'm talking about people in emotional distress. Still in that context, this person says it's no one else's business if you want to kill yourself. Not even those who love you. And loving someone enough to say you don't want them to take their own life is selfish. Wanting someone to live is selfish.

You're not? Well, I am. I'm talking about every manner of suicide. (Suicide bombing isn't suicide, so don't attack me on that point. Suicide is where the main point is to die. The main point in suicide bombing is to bomb.) People in emotional stress are in a lot of pain as well. It isn't anyone's place to tell you what to do with your life. Would you let a family member who loves you tell you where to live or what job to have or who to date? Then why would you let one tell you whether or not to die? Loving someone enough to say you don't want them to take their own life and wanting someone to live are not selfish in and of themselves. Insisting that they live regardless of what they want is what's selfish. Think about it, Blogget.

I stick by my words: Killing yourself is ultimately selfish. I have to think that a person who does such a thing is not in their right mind. The depths of despair can do that to people. But there's always a solution. It might be hard, but there's a solution.

I stick by my words: Preventing suicide is ultimately selfish. I have to think that a person who does such a thing has an ulterior motive. The depths of posibility of losing a loved one can do that to people. But you can always get over it. It might be hard, but even I got over it.

And, most of all, it isn't right to inflict that kind of hurt on the people who love you. That's the bottom line. You might be hurting emotionally, but there's always another way out. If you give them that kind of wound, by taking your own life, there's no resolution for that. You've given them profound pain that will never heal. And they will ALWAYS be damaged by the knowledge that they weren't worth living for.

And most of all, it isn't right to let that kind of hurt go on in a person you love. That's the bottom line. It might hurt you emotionally, but you should let them take the way out if they really want it. Oh, the reast of that? Bullshit. Blogget, I have been, as you say, "left behind." It heals. Just like any other death. No more and no less. People have prevented me from killing myself and I will always be damaged by the knowledge that they didn't care what I wanted. Even if I never end up attempting again, it hurts to know that I have to do this anonymously.

I will not publish a link to anything that tells people in despair that they are doomed and that they are correct to ruin the lives and hearts of others. Again, who is the selfish one?

First of all, I don't tell people that they're doomed. I don't tell them to kill themselves. I don't tell them to hurt people. I tell them that it's their decision to make. Who is the selfish one? It doesn't matter what I say because your mind isn't going to change.

Now I have to decide if I want her to read this rebuttal or if I should just let it be.

Anon

Edit 6/12/06: Blogget posted about me again. I knew her opinion would never change. She's just so full of herself and I wash my hands of her. This really has become a bother.

Thanks to Stone Sour for today's post title.

Dying Song

You got someone annoying at work that always sings happy songs like If You're Happy And You Know It (Complete with the clapping)? I can't take too much of that, so without thinking first, I sang the following song to her:

If you're suicidal and you know it, kill yourself
If you're suicidal and you know it, kill yourself
If you're suicidal and you know it
They lock you up if you show it
If you're suicidal and you know it, kill yourself

Yes, I know it's pretty bad. But it was without thinking first and I think the two lines that are different from the other three were worth sharing, just not out of context. It did, however, shut the coworker up for an hour or two, which is the important part.

Anon

Thanks to Cruxshadows for today's post title.

End Of The Movie

Ever see a movie which displays the act of suicide? Really? What movie? I think you should go back and check that out again. Why is it that most movies tend to pan away during or otherwise not show the actual act of suicide? They show murders. They sometimes show rapes. Do they really presume that suicide is a worse act than the previous examples? What is so undisplayable about suicide? What are they afraid of? Of all the things they can get away with showing in movies, shouldn't suicide be one of them? So, Hollywood, get off your moral high horse and start showing those cool suicide scenes.

Anon

Thanks to Cake for today's post title.

You Know You're Right

A story in the news (Linked in the title) is Dr. Kevorkian flip-flopping on his original idea to get out of prison. We know he's sick, and that's really what they're trying to get him out on, but now he's changing his position on physician-assisted suicide.

"He did what he did, and it brought it to public awareness [of physician-assisted suicide]," said Kevorkian's attorney, Mayer Morganroth. "He now realizes that having performed it when it was against the law, wasn't the, probably, appropriate way to go about it. … What he should have done was work towards its legalization verbally. … Pursuing that cause, and not performing it because it still was against the law."

Come on, Doc. You were right the first time. You weren't doing anything wrong. The people asked you to help them die. You know you're right, don't go saying you're wrong. What if I need someone like you some day... Or maybe tomorrow. Who the hell knows? Right now, my only option would be to go to Oregon. That might or might not be very far away from me. It might be a pain in the ass to get there. And for millions of people, it is. So, stick to your opinion and don't say you were wrong. That hurts suicide advocacy.

Thanks to Nirvana for today's post title.

Blasphemous Rumors

I have to admit, I had two titles I really wanted to use for this entry. One was Loser by 3 Doors Down (maybe I'll get to use it later), and the other was the one I ended up using. I flipped a coin to decide. Maybe my three readers will decide I used the wrong one.

I never thought I'd reference another blog here (I guess that's because I didn't think much about it at all anyway), but I was searching for other blogs on suicide and the one I'm referencing came up (Linked in the title).

Blogget Jones is one of the most selfish people I know, just barely above the guy I know that stole from charity. I'd leave a comment on her blog, as it would bring readers here, but I really don't think those are the kind of readers I want. They seem to really agree with Blogget on this issue and it doesn't look like any of them is likely to change their opinion any time soon. However, I'm not going to tell any of my three readers what to do because, as with suicide, I believe it's their personal choice.

Anyway, getting to the issue, I'm going to address several of the things she says.

"(Does anyone even know that song anymore? Or know where it comes from?)" Yes, Blogget, it's Suicide Is Painless by Johnny Mandell. It's the theme from M*A*S*H.

In case the news hasn't reached you, the Colts' head coach Tony Dungy has an 18-year-old son who decided to kill himself yesterday. Here's the Fox Sports article.

Before I total taint any positive image you might have of me and launch into my rant, here's my disclaimer: I am not insensitive. I am not unsympathetic. I feel absolutely horrible for Tony Dungy and his family. This is a hurt that will never go away. Time will dull the shock, but they will always miss that boy and wish he was there for the milestones in life, theirs and his. They will always second guess themselves and carry the guilt. They will always, like it or not, have a bit of anger towards him for doing it to them. I feel so terribly sad for anyone going through such a horror, especially when they are mourning their child.

This is what I like to call "pre-bullshit." It's like when someone says to you, "I don't want to offend you, but..." When someone goes to that much trouble to say something like that before they get to their point, you can be sure that this pre-bullshit is just that. Anyway, we pass the pre-bullshit and get into the beginning of the point:

I even feel a bad for the boy. No one in their right mind takes their own life. I firmly believe that. Things just get all screwed up and you can't think straight, I know. That said, I'm totally pissed at that kid. I don't tolerate selfishness well, and this is one of the most insanely selfish things I've ever heard.

You don't feel bad for the boy at all. You just called him, "no one in their right mind." You're just angry that he made your football season suck. I don't tolerate seflishness well either and your blog entry is one of the most insanely selfish things I've ever heard. It was his decision, not yours. Who are you to say he can't take his own life? That's selfish for you to say that. How would you like for someone to tell you how to live your life? I don't know. Say you got a job in New York, but it would hurt your family if you moved. Say you tried to move anyway and they called you selfish for hurting them. Maybe a bad analogy, but my point is, why should he be in pain? Why is okay for the kid to be in pain but not his family?

Alrighty, then. I can feel the vibes from here. Dang, Blogget, you're a cold one. The poor kid probably didn't have his dad's attention and was in desperate need. Even if that is the case, you don't take your own life. You don't destroy your life and the lives of those around you just because you're having a hard time. It's not fair.

Wait. I've had family members commit suicide. The last I remembered, it didn't actually destroy anyone's life. Sure, people were upset. That'll happen. I'm going to turn it around on you, Blogget. You don't prevent somone from taking his own life. You don't destroy someone's life just because you don't want them to die. It's not fair.

Suicide is not painless. It's an act that leaves immeasureable damage in it's wake. It causes a pain that runs deeper than any comfort can reach. I'm profoundly sorry for anyone who has to join the unfortunate fraternity of those who suffer through that pain.

You'll get over it, Blogget. Just don't take it out on your cousin, or your football hero, or anyone else who decides to choose suicide. It's their choice to make, not yours. On second thought, I don't think her readers actually feel the way she does. They had experiences with suicidal friends and family, as we all do, but they never out and said she was right. Blogget:

YOU'RE WRONG!

Get over yourself and realize that if someone wants to die, you have neither the authority, nor the moral superiority to stop them.

Edit 6/7/06: Maybe I will end up telling her.

Edit 6/9/06: As you can see, I told her and she left a comment. I then replied to her comment without much thought, but with a lot of emotion. I've had time to think about what I have to say, and I'd like to address her comment. I find insulting her presumption that because I am an advocate of personal choice, particularly suicide, that I've never suffered the pain involved in the act. I'm not going to lie. Suicide causes pain in your friends and family. I know this firsthand. However, it's still your choice. I support my uncle's decision to end his life even though it caused me pain. But you know what? I got over it. I've lost many friends and family members over the years. I still have fond memories of them. His suicide didn't hurt any more than the other deaths. I was never angry at him for killing himself. And there have been others who have attempted suicide. Some are glad they lived. Others, not so glad. Whether or not I've been "left behind," is beside the point. I know it's not a good analogy, but if someone you loved died in a plane crash, would you try to stop everyone else in the world from flying? Blogget is just buried in her narcissitic, closed-minded views that she's lost all touch with reality. (She does have many other terrible opinions, and one or two not so bad opinions on her blog if you check it out.) I told you she wasn't the kind of people I wanted on this blog. I wish I'd have never told her.

Anon

Thanks to Depeche Mode for today's post title.

Richard Cory

I was recalling a poem that I studied back in school that had a title the same as a song by Simon And Garfunkel. This is good for me because now I don't have to try to find a song about suicide with a title that matches the subject of this post. There's one by the same name. Anyway, the poem is called Richard Cory by Edward Arlington Robinson:

Whenever Richard Cory went downtown,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored, and imperially slim.

And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
"Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich - yes, richer than a king -
And admirably schooled in every grace;
In fine we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.

I guess the point is that people try to hide it when they're considering suicide. It may look like someone's life is great. They may be rich. They may have parties. They may be important. But you really don't know what kind of pain is inside them. If it were easy to talk about suicide without worry of condemnation or commitment, without being called selfish or arrogant or cowardly, then maybe people would talk about it and it might make people feel better. The way things are, people have to deal with it themselves or on the terms of someone who condemns them. What kind of choice is that? Why is suicide such a taboo subject? Why is it frowned upon? I was looking at a website just now (I'd link it, but anyone who found this blog has probably heard this from somewhere) that says if you commit suicide, you go to hell. I refuse to believe a loving God would send someone to hell. Especially for trying whatever they could to end the pain. I don't think God wants us to be in pain.

Anon

Thanks to Simon & Garfunkel for today's post title.

Sleeping Pills

I don't know who's heard about antidepressants inducing suicide before, but I've known about it for a long time. It's amazing that it's just making the news (Linked in the title).

Apparently, Paxil is now inducing suicide. Oh, but I adored that little bouncing blob ingoring the butterfly. Or was that Zoloft? Who cares? Not much a point to this part of the post except a hypothetical question:

Would you rather get depressed and kill yourself or get depressed, get hospitalized for two weeks or more, get put on antidepressants, think you're feeling a little better, then get depressed and kill yourself?

I think most people would prefer the former as it's less trouble and doesn't waste time and energy.

The other thing in the article was a little window on diagonosing depression. I'm going to attempt to address every one of the symptoms.

"Depression is a serious medical illness that comes in many forms with a variety of symptoms. If you have any of the following symptoms for a prolonged period, it may be time to seek help." This is the heading on the window. Let me restate this in a reasonable manner:

Depression is a major part of most of our lives. If you don't have any of these symptoms for longer than a few hours at a time in your life, then you're crazy and naïve and need to be put to sleep. Knowing this, if you still would like to seek help, go right ahead, but it might be easier (not to mention cheaper) to self-medicate or self-terminate.

"Persistant sad or anxious mood
Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism" I'm going to address both of these at the same time. These are completely normal feelings, especially if you know what's going on in life.

"Feelings of guilt or worthlessness" I don't know. Maybe you did something wrong. That's normally why we feel guilt. We don't really need a reason to feel worthless. Just look at your life and then ask yourself, "In a hundred years, who's gonna care?" That will make the majority of us feel worthless.

"Loss of interest in hobbies or activities" Maybe you're changing. Maybe you like different hobbies and activities. If not, maybe you're just tired today, which brings me to:

"Fatigue or decreased energy" Maybe you're tired. Maybe you haven't had enough sleep or maybe you've worked too hard. Here's a thought: Maybe you're sick.

"Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
Insomnia or oversleeping
Restlessness or irritability" Too much caffeine or not enough sleep. Just jumping around the list to save time.

"Changes in appetite or weight" Did you start or quit smoking or some other drug recently? Even if the answer's no, this kind of thing happens. It's not unusual for someone's appetite or weight to change. Plus, maybe you have something on your mind.

"Headaches or chronic pain" Migraines? I get migraines. I really don't see how headaches and chronic pain are related to depression unless you're depressed because you're in pain.

"Thoughts of death or suicide" Of course they have to throw this one in there. Yes, thoughts of suicide are usually related to depression. Death, not so much. Still, if you tell someone that you're thinking about suicide, you won't get happier. You'll get more depressed and you might end up on Paxil and then kill yourself anyway. So, why don't you just take out the middleman and off yourself.

Anon

Thanks to Suede for today's post title.

Mad World

Back in the post, Suicide Solution, I talked about Oregon's winning battle against the activist Executive Branch. Unfortunately, the UK (Linked in the title) hasn't had the same luck in that issue. I'm going to address a few of the arguments against the right to die that are mentioned in the article but first, I'm going to quote the specifics of the bill.

"The assisted dying bill would let doctors prescribe, but not administer, lethal drugs to patients who are suffering unbearably and have less than six months to live."

What's unreasonable about that? These people are pretty much dead anyway. That's doesn't even come close to controversial. Anyway, now I'm going to address people's quarrels with this bill.

"Such a bill cannot guarantee that a right to die would not, for society's most vulnerable, become a duty to die." Huh? How does this become a duty to die? For the people this bill was meant for, they're going to die within six months anyway, so they already have a "duty to die." This bill gives these people a painless and dignified way to die.

"We believe that this is a very bad bill and one that would create great problems for old and sick patients and the medical and nursing professions." You mean problems such as doctors and pharmacies losing millions of dollars in visits and medications in the last six months of dying patients' lives? Well, I agree that's problems for the professions, though it's something they should have to live with. Where are the problems for the patients?

Okay, I think I pretty much addressed the major issues, and the others were poll responses, so we all know how much people listen to and understand those before they reply, but I'll address one of those anyway.

"Vulnerable people could feel under pressure to opt for suicide." And? Don't you think they already want to die? Don't you think that's why they want the option? They'll feel no more pressure when it becomes legal. They'll just be glad they can do it painlessly and legally.

Governments across the world: Stay out of our personal decisions. If we want to die, let us die.

Anon

Thanks to Tears For Fears and Gary Jules for today's post title.

Game Over

I was reading the news and this story on the ABC News website (Linked in the title) disturbed me. Not because a kid killed himself after playing a game. That'll happen. No one seems to want to put the responsibility where it lies. The parents want to sue the game company simply because he referenced the game in his suicide note. Naturally, the game company wants to distance themselves from this. Here's what I say:

Fine, they can sue the game company. But the state (In this case, the state is the country of China) gets to countersue for frivolous lawsuit. This means that if the state deems this a frivolous suit, then the plaintiff loses more money than he can afford, thus naturally preventing lawsuit abuse. Anyway, back to the issue at hand.

The repsonsiblity lies on the child and the child alone. If a game can cause him to want to kill himself, then even if the game weren't there, something else would have done the job. The parents should quit trying to profit off their son's decision (albiet a crazy decision) and let it rest.

Anon

Thanks to This Side Up for today's post title.

The Quiet Place

I took my brother to Burger King today, but since I had already eaten, I waited in the car. I was a little drowsy, so I looked up at the sky and what I saw was beautiful.

I saw a group of clouds covering the sun with bright lining around the outsides of them. I couldn't help but stare and though I saw beauty, I couldn't help but think about death. I guess death is beauty if you ask the right people, and I don't know how I made that connection in my mind, but it got me to thinking about suicide for the first time since my last post. So, to the one reader who I happen to have now, expect me to be back.

Anon

Thanks to In Flames for today's post title.

Can't Stand Losing You

Well...
Maybe it's Can't Stand You or Losing You, but hey, it's the closest title I had.

Remember Cathy? Let's call her Rebecca today, just to mix things up.

This afternoon, at work, I received news that Rebecca is getting a transfer effective a week from Wednesday. This brings about good news and bad news.

The good news is I won't be suicidal as much following Wednesday.
The bad news is I won't be suicidal as much following Wednesday.

"But, Anon, why is that the good news and the bad news?"
It's the good news because for me it's better when I'm not suicidal in terms of how I feel.
It's the bad news because my artistic side (including this blog) functions better when I am suicidal. However, I haven't really been too suicidal since I created the blog, and I still found plenty of things to say regarding the matter, so maybe it's for the best.

One can only hope.

Anon

Thanks to The Police for today's post title.

Breaking The Habit

There have only been two people in my life who have ever almost killed me by my hand. I work with one of them.

Let's call her Cathy.

Cathy came back from a two-week vacation yesterday. And that's a good thing because I was getting really tired of not wanting to die every day.

And while I'm here making a post anyway, right now, I'm looking at a website (Linked in the title) which is a full practical guide to suicide. If you're considering suicide, you should definitely check it out. Anyway, I'm referring to one paragraph in particular:

Knowing that we can at any point terminate our lives can be a powerful incentive. "Okay, now I can do anything. If the heat gets to be too much, I can push 'eject, game over,' and I don't have to worry about the conditions I've created for myself." To many this is considered "weak, avoidance, cheating, sinful," etc., but that is just a human judgment intent on keeping us as their pawns, playing by their rules, condemned by their bogey gods, afraid to take the Final Power into their own hands and projecting this onto us as some sort of cosmic sin. After all, if they have to suffer in this shit-hole we're making of the world, we should be required to suffer it too, right? They'll say that we're a "sore loser" or a "spoiled-sport" (their game was ruined) if we don't remain inside their pitiful, finite game (cf. Carse, Watts) and submit to our position.

Now, I don't buy all that and I still stick to what I said in my first post. But some of it makes sense and it made me think. If you actually found this blog (Fat chance. You're looking at porn. And if this blog came up in your porn search, then I really don't want to know what you're into.) then maybe it'll make you think as well.

Anon

Thanks to Linkin Park for today's post title.

Bleed

Just a random thought:

What if instead of putting people in the hospital for attempted suicide, we make it a capital offense?
And we don't put people on death row for 20 years. We shoot them right away, while they still want to die. I don't know. Maybe a bad idea.
Maybe not.

Anon

Thanks to Sentenced for today's post title.

Killing Yourself

If you were going to off yourself, would you do it in private or public?

Not a question you often hear. People normally do it in the privacy of their own homes.
I wouldn't.

There are a few reasons:

• It's just too damn convenient for everyone else.
• If you kill yourself in your own home, or in private, it's usually up to your family to deal with the financial, legal, and emotional responsibilities of cleaning you up.
• It's just fun to freak people out.

"So, how would you do it, Anon?"
I don't know. But I have a pretty fun idea creeping in my head right now. Actually, it's not my idea, so I must hope that the person who gave me the idea doesn't find this blog.
When it's pouring in a flooded and crowded parking lot, I have a friend or otherwise an accessory in a car nearby. Attached to this car's battery are jumper cables. The other end of the cables are connected to each other and layed in the water by my bare feet. I then get everyone's attention by yelling crazy religious philosophy. You know, like a cultist tells his followers. I go on for about twenty minutes or so and end with, "If anything I've said is not true, may God strike me dead!" About that time, my friend starts the car and electrocutes me to death in front of all the onlookers. That would scar them for life.


...And most of them would swear they saw the lightning bolt.

Anon, The Anonymous

Thanks to Alice In Chains for today's post title

Suicide Solution

I refer you to the front page of the Wednesday, January 18, 2006 issue of USA Today.

The headline is, "Suicide Ruling Reopens Debate."

In case you can't get to a newspaper that old, I'll give you the general theme of the article.

Several years ago, in Oregon, they passed a law allowing doctors to prescribe lethal prescriptions for terminally ill patients who just wanted to die before they went through all kinds of physical pain. Good for them. But, of course, Bush and his infallible moral principles, as with Terry Schaivo, recently wouldn't leave these dying people alone. He took it all the way to the Supreme Court saying that dying people had no right to kill themselves before they died and John Ashcroft, though was in no position to do it, threatened to punish doctors who gave out lethal prescriptions saying that assisted suicide had no "legitimate medical purpose." You've probably figured out by now that Bush failed, so you can break out the party hats. The supreme court rejected Bush's attempt to block that law with a 6-3 decision.

But this isn't the end of the battle for me, and I'm hoping it's the same for many suicide advocates out there. Yes, it's good that terminally ill patients can end their lives in the state of Oregon. However, I'm hoping that they make all suicide legal across the board. Where's the harm? I mean, come on. It's not like you can charge people that have committed suicide anyway. They're already dead. And for those who fail? Right now, their choices are to keep their mouth shut and hide the wounds (been there), or to tell someone and end up in a hospital for some time that they'll never get back (done that). Those aren't really good choices.

Anonymous

Thanks to Ozzy Osbourne for today's post title.

Suicide Is Painless

So I have a blog now. There's a reason this blog took so long before I got around to creating it. Since it's about suicide, people get really paranoid and try to get you hospitalized when they know how how you really feel, so it had to be anonymous. And being anonymous, there really is no point in this blog. People know there's a certain narcisstic quality in a blogger that makes them think the whole world wants to read their thoughts on the internet. And because this blog is anonymous, no one I know knows I have it, and chances are that no one I don't will run across it. So, there. It's completely pointless.

That being said, I am taking precautions in case someone who does find this blog thinks they know who I am. I'm going to be changing names and details enough for people who may know me to not know who I am, but leaving them intact enough to keep the point there.

Since this blog is about suicide, let's get right to the point.

"Suicide is one of the most selfish things you can do."

--Everyone you've ever known.

There's a reason people say that. They're selfish. "But wait, Anon. Why are they selfish when you're the one that's offing yourself and leaving them with pain?" Why? Because you're the one with pain. They know you want to die and they're doing everything in their power to keep you alive and in pain. They even put you in more pain to keep you alive. Suicide is a personal choice, but we still have all kinds of people trying to tell you that you're too good for death. If you want to die, don't worry about what they think. It's selfish of them to try to keep you alive. It's selfish of them to put you in a hospital when you're the only one you want to hurt. They don't care that you're in pain. They just want you around because they don't want to be in pain when you're gone. If you want to kill yourself, and you stumbled upon this blog, you've read all you need to know to make your decision. The rest of this blog will most likely be about suicide in current events and how suicide relates to my own life. But, who knows? I might have more suicide-realated philosophy in the future.

Anonymous.

Thanks to Johnny Mandell for today's post title and the title of the blog.